Don't Look Down

2008-11-13 (Thu) 15:53

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:20:34 GMT

I have a new car. It is red and twenty years old, and has all kinds of things the previous one didn't, like a working speedometer and radio antenna. I no longer have a cold, but I do have debt. Fortunately to my stepdad ather than a bank, which means I pay no interest.

I also have a mere seventy-nine days left to get this shit together. I should get to work on that.

2008-11-06 (Thu) 14:24

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 19:27:00 GMT

I am sick, and my car is totally dead. This is not a particularly good week.

2008-10-21 (Tue) 14:45

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:13:00 GMT

Illuminated on the stage, from left to right are Shirley Simms (vocals), CLAUDIA Gonson (vocals, piano), the piano, John Woo (guitar), Sam Davol (cello), and STEPHIN Merritt (vocals, bouzouki). They are the MAGNETIC FIELDS. Before the stage in darkness are the AUDIENCE. They sit in row after row of identical chairs, bolted to the floor. Roughly ten rows back in the audience are a MAN and a WOMAN.

[The MAGNETIC FIELDS finish playing a song. STEPHIN begins tuning his bouzouki.]

CLAUDIA: (addressing the AUDIENCE in a friendly voice) We have The Charm of the Highway Strip on vinyl on sale outside. We've joined the vinyl revolution. We're planning to release the rest of our albums on vinyl too. 69 Love Songs should be available sometime next year.

[The AUDIENCE applauds.]

STEPHIN: (deadpan to CLAUDIA, but into the microphone) Please tell the audience not to applaud while I'm tuning.

CLAUDIA: Please don't applaud while Stephin's tuning.

[The MAGNETIC FIELDS play some songs, then pause.]

WOMAN: (to MAN) Ready?

WOMAN & MAN: RENO DAKOTA!

CLAUDIA: No, no. We have these set lists that tell us what to play, and we're all getting older now, so we don't remember anything that's not on them.

STEPHIN: (to CLAUDIA, still into microphone, still deadpan) Don't respond to the audience. It's gauche.

CLAUDIA: I'm just letting them know, so they won't waste their efforts.

[The MAGNETIC FIELDS play more songs, then pause again.]

WOMAN: FIDO!

CLAUDIA: You weren't listening. We have a setlist.

STEPHIN: (in the same manner as before, though now he's addressing the AUDIENCE) Please kill all shouting audience members. It's your responsibility. We can't jump of the stage and-

WOMAN: FIDO!

STEPHIN: (same manner) Someone please slap that woman.

2008-10-21 (Tue) 14:19

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:41:00 GMT

A summation of Neon Genesis Evangelion via division into four parts:

Part One
In which we are introduced to a standard, not particularly interesting anime, in which an unwilling fourteen year old boy pilots a giant robot to fight giant monsters, beating them at roughly the rate of one per episode.

Part Two
In which it gradually becomes apparent that more is going on that we previously realized. The giant robot is largely biological and to some extent self-aware. There's some kind of conspiracy going on behind the scenes involving prophecy from the Dead Sea Scrolls. A new character arrives from Germany, upsetting the previous, boring character dynamics.

Part Three
In which things really get weird. The giant robot turns out to be made from the giant monsters. There's an anonymous group behind the other conspiracy group. Some people are working in a counter-conspiracy. Some characters are clones or something of other characters. Some of the characters are killed. The giant robot becomes fully self-aware and, by eating one of the giant monsters, obtains great power not yet demonstrated or explained. The creature called ADAM actually turns out to be LILITH, though what that means isn't explained. The last of the prophesied giant monsters has been defeated, and now everyone's plans can go into the endgame stages.

Part Four
In which the main character decides over the course of two excruciatingly long episodes that it's better to retreat into schizophrenia than to face the world. None of the questions raised in parts two and three are answered. The director personally appears at the end to give the audience the finger.

2008-09-24 (Wed) 00:09

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 04:10:00 GMT

I have clean sheets, and you don't.

2008-09-17 (Wed) 22:16

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 02:21:00 GMT

For some reason I've got this set up so that, due to complicated things I don't care enough to explain, it's significantly easier to update this from work than from my house. Not really sure why I did that, but that's how it is. It wasn't a problem before, but my new work schedule only has me working three days a week, and one of those is at the other theater, where I can't internet, so I'm going to have to change my setup.

Despite only working three days, though, I work six shifts, so I get two extra days off and one extra shift. It is like magic! Plus I reduce my commuting by 40%ish. (It's inexact because the other theater is further away and sometimes I go somewhere other than straight home after work, or at least did, when "after work" wasn't 2am.)

You know I had a lot of things to say earlier, but hell if I can think of any of them now.

2008-09-07 (Sun) 16:35

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 20:37:00 GMT

Journal for the Suppression of Reality, eh, Borges? *yoink*

2008-07-12 (Sat) 15:56

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:43:00 GMT

I know you know I'm upset that you started smoking again. You wouldn't have tried to hide it otherwise, but I want you to understand why. Or I just want to explain why, since I don't think you read this. I'll point you here next time I see you.

My dad has smoked my entire life. Apparently he didn't for a while after my sister and I were born, but he's smoked as long as I can remember. And as long as I can remember, I've known that smoking would kill him. Every time I hear him cough, I've known that was how he was going to die. In a hospital bed. Uncontrollably hacking up blood. Consumed with pain.

When someone I care about smokes, I see them dying and in pain. I see myself totally unable to help them. I see how much I'm going to miss my father when he dies. I see twenty years of failed attempts to save my father's life ending in hopelessness and resignation that I can do nothing to avert his agonizing death.

I want you to understand: I love my father. If I were only allowed to talk to one other person for the rest of my life, it would be him.

I want you to understand: I perceive you smoking again as I a sign that I have failed another person monumentally. That if had I done something differently, you wouldn't have to feel your charred lungs' endless agonizing struggle for oxygen. That I wouldn't have to watch you die.

Maybe I won't show you this. That's a lot to lay on a person. And I can't help but feel like I lost the right to comment on your life two months ago.

2008-06-08 (Sun) 18:00

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:33:00 GMT

Alright, enough fiddling with the new software. As of right now, Don't Look Down is up and running, though not online yet. And in a few moments Retrograde Motionless will be officially dead. Ironic that my first blogged action over here at Kill the Future would be the death of the past, but it does make a much easier target.

2008-06-08 (Sun) 18:01

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:33:00 GMT

Three hours more of fiddling with the new software after saying I was done fiddling with it, and I'm finally pretty happy about how I've got it.

Something I forgot to mention: for the first time since I got the comments up and running on my previous blog (probably within its first month), there's no way to leave comments. I don't know whether there's a TiddlyWiki extension that will do that, but I haven't even looked. We're gonna try it this way for a while. And since I don't plan on telling anyone I'm here for a while either, it's going to be a long while indeed before I reconsider the comments.

2008-06-09 (Mon) 20:04

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:33:00 GMT

Seems odd to put up just a link when there's no one reading. Actually it seems weird to do any of this when no one's reading, but at some point someone will browse back to now in the archive.

http://cracked.com

I highly recommend everything in the cracked.com blog tagged "That bitch who plays Hannah Montana".

2008-06-10 (Tue) 19:48

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:32:00 GMT

So I mentioned earlier that I recently broke up with my girlfriend of over a year. Her name is Leah, and it was the best breakup of all time. Unlike previous breakups I've had where "let's stay friends" was code for "please, God, don't let us run into each other anywhere by accident", Leah and I actually are friends. It's not easy, mostly because I've had over a year of training that says when she looks pretty (always) I should tell her and then kiss her, which I can't do anymore, but we do get along really well, and I, at least, am I lot happier without the burden of having a Relationship weighing down our relationship. I think she is too.

I still feel weird sitting here talking to myself. And I think I've got this set up except for replacing the stylesheets, which is going to take me for-fuck-ever, since I hate/suck at graphic design. Maybe it's time to tell people I'm here.

2008-06-13 (Fri) 18:42

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:32:00 GMT

So, I have an LJ Feed now, thanks to Brendan, who is also my first audience member.

Hello, Brendan! How are you enjoying the show? Is the reception okay all the way out in Portland?

2008-06-13 (Fri) 19:07

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:32:00 GMT

The results are finally in!

Votes for me: 1
Abstentions: 5,263,592,999 (approx.)

So, as the only candidate to receive any votes, I am now officially Mayor of the Internet!

2008-06-13 (Fri) 20:39

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:32:00 GMT

So my room is a hideous mess.

No. Stop. Do not pretend your room is as bad as mine. Your room looks like it got hit by a tornado, you say? My room looks like it was hit by the Great Red Spot of Jupiter. If my room were online, and thus under my jurisdiction, I would declare it a disaster zone and ask the president (Al Gore?) to send in the National Guard (4-chan? As Mayor, I really should know these things.)

There's a constant conflict between the ob-com and procrastinating factions in my brain, which usually balances out pretty much. But when "I'll just set this down here and take care of it later" gets too far ahead of "Everything in it's right place", the scale of the cleaning operation becomes fuel for the pro-procrastination faction's arguments, and things gradually slide out of hand until I end up living in what non-experts often mistake for my sister's room.

As long as I was dating Leah, I could get away with having a huge pile of clean laundry on the floor (a huge pile of assorted junk blocks access to the dresser), since she already knew that was what my room was like and had resigned herself to it as a trade-off against my good points (for example, I very rarely pee on the carpet). However, as a single man again, I now face the daunting prospect of tricking some poor innocent girl into thinking that I would be a good person with whom to spend large quantities of time, sometimes while naked. No small feat, but I think having a room that has a hollow bit in the middle to move around in (preferably adjacent to the door) would be a big help.

So here's the plan:

Step One This coming Tuesday (June 17th) will be my first day off since May 30th due to our currently being understaffed in the projection booth after one of the projectionists got fired for doing something stupid which I'm not going to talk about, since it isn't my business, and on that day, I will clear enough of the floor of my room that I can get into my dresser and put my clothes away, and I will put my clothes away, and I will do laundry, and put those clothes away too. And maybe (doubtfully) I will clean some more after that.

Step Two Clean the rest of it eventually, and hope my copy of Diablo II shows up somewhere along the way so I can join in on the "Let's all play Diablo II; it'll be awesome!" plan without shelling out $40.

That's the plan.

2008-06-13 (Fri) 21:30

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:32:00 GMT

Why the hell am I still chewing this gum? My jaws are really starting to hurt.

2008-06-15 (Sun) 04:43

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:32:00 GMT

Okay, first official Mayoral Proclamation:

Cute girls I ask out are not allowed to already have boyfriends.

2008-06-18 (Wed) 14:27

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:31:00 GMT

Alright, the plan was pretty much a success, I'm not quite done with the laundry, but I can get to my dresser, and my dresser has quite a few clothes in it now.

I decided now would be a good time to cull my large collection of t-shirts too, since I have pretty much every free shirt from every event I've been to since '99, this would follow nicely on my recent culling of underwear and socks that have holes, and unlike the underwear and sock genocides, the things that are left will be interesting. (The most interesting thing about the sock genocide was that I bought too many replacement socks, so now I have a massive sock surplus.) And since I was thinking about shirts, I bought a three-pack (1 2 3) from Topatoco with some money I was owed. They are pretty.

I also ended up buying a new copy of Diablo II after I remembered that by previous copy had actually been borrowed from a friend. And tomorrow I am buying a car. A 1996 Nissan Altima with a broken od/speedometer. It is pretty exciting.

Also exciting: Diablo II tonight at eight. Brendan, as my only audience member, I am inviting you. 8 Eastern is what? 5 Pacific? And it's 3 right now, so it's in two hours. Or, no, wait, I'll still be at work then. How does that work? Whatever. You are invited to come click on things until they die with me and some friends. You are also invited not to come if you have other things to do or something. It is pretty whatever. We we all be starting new characters, so you have a chance to get in on the ground floor. Limited time offer. It will be a good investment. You will get 400% back, guaranteed. And now I'm just rambling.

2008-06-18 (Wed) 15:12

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:31:00 GMT

Alvin Lucier is amazing. I listened to "I am sitting in a room" five times yesterday, and now I have to buy Clocker next payday. (Despite the tag, it's not really "music" so much as "sound art" (as he admits), but a "sound art" tag seems much less useful than a "music" tag, and the line can get fuzzy (e.g. Caroliner (Oh, I have to talk about Caroliner sometime. They are crazy.)))

Unrelatedly, this is my eleventh post, meaning my first post just dropped off the front page. Whoo!

EDIT 080814: Tag changed from "music" to "sound" as part of a broader generalization of tags.

2008-06-20 (Fri) 02:12

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:31:00 GMT

Man, fuck Thursdays. I am going to bed.

I guess I have a car now, though. That is something.